Motherhood can be so lonely

As much as I love being a mother, I didn't expect motherhood to be so lonely. I know I shouldn't be because it's part of the parenthood package. I know that as they say, this too shall pass, but it can be hard to remember that when it's just me and my baby girl again and again and again, day after day after day. 

In all of the loneliness though, the person I feel the worst for is my husband, believe it or not. I know he wishes he could help me more. I can see it on his face whenever he watches me struggle with the baby. But sometimes baby just want me and no one else. I know I should be thankful for this special mother-daughter bond but it can cause a lot of frustrations out of me, take my sanity away sometimes when I'm burnt out. 

I may often be consumed by my loneliness, but I remember we are in this together; my husband and I. For a minute, for a second, for an hour — the memory that I am supported carries me through my darkest moments. Even though he can't help me much, just knowing he is there with me somehow helps a lot. I thank God for those interventions. I thank God for him.

I know that as she gets older, I will miss these moments. Don't get me wrong. I am still being thankful for being a mother, for having my baby girl. Writing this post reminds me to savour each moment now even when I feel so lonely at times.

My girl is my new shadow.

Would like to dedicate this post to my mother and all mothers in this world. All mothers must have felt this sort of loneliness sometimes. So, thank you!

Also, not forgetting the fathers. Thank for being there for us and with us even just for few seconds.